I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
