Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
