question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
