I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
