I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
