He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
