I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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