Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
