this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
