I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
