I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
