he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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