I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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