Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
