You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
