Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
