anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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