and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
