Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize