I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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