stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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