so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
