I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
