official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
