We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
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