We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Never joke about your clitoris.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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