Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
