4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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