someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
