Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
