Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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