I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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