party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
