If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
