Already got asked if we're dating
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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