feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
