Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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