Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize