Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I need a beard to bite.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
