butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
