Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
