Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
