i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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