I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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