What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So vagazzling was a success
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
