Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
