Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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