yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
