I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
