well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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