Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
