you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
