I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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