why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How naked do you want me to be?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
