i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You dont lie about slip and slides
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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