I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
