Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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