capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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