your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
