youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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