I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize